A Retreat Print
Written by Deborah   

Oh That Learned Helplessness.

thanks for your information on children of depressed parents on the alice miller website. i am the child of a depressed mother and i am 38 now. i went through excellent counselling at the age of 27 and was able to heal so much of my scars from her depression, among many other things i worked through. She never hurt me physically or went insane, it was just a daily living with insecurity and imblance and emotional abandonment. i have spent hte past 10 years working through my own depressive episodes, very similar to hers and have come to realize that mine are simply methods of coping, learned helplessness. and i am at a point where i can just sit in my overwhelmed state and not allow my brain to want to shut down and become depressed. i am breaking the pattern and not passing it down to my children, thanks to my excellent counselor giving me the tools to continue to heal myself. i am also beginning to research the effects of depression on the brain, and the ways my body may have become biologically changed becuase of living with a depressed mom. i am now getting my pscyh degree and hope to be a counsellor and i do believe i am pulling towards helping depressed moms and their children.

even though i've worked through and healed a TON, there is always a small, aching loneliness in me that i don't believe will ever heal, despite my incredible marriage and relationship with my kids that i have now. so reading your article is validating and i go to that website often to remind me that it's okay that i still hurt and that i am not feeling sorry for myself, it's all real. thansk for reading my email. there are so so so few people in the world that can understand emotional pain and healing and this website is a little retreat for me that i can go to and be validated. thank you for your research and sharing your knowledge with the world.