A Death of Me (inner spirit)? Print
Written by Jennifer   
my 2nd poem - it's more of "rap"

When her sanity leaves, the family grieves, but what's worse, like a curse,
is when the mind hides behind a shell of soul, hateful and cold, with lies and stories told of a happy family,
and what's left in me is only the haunting shadows of the death of me.

Now I'm grown, on my own, but it's the memories of my mother's insanity that follow me.

I'm too scared to cry or shout, I fear her spirit still roams about, my guilt of a tortured soul she must be, catching only moments of clarity amongst a scattered tongue about her youngest selfish one.

My father sticking with the vows, until the end of time allows.
Unwilling to protect both, he's a devoted host to the fusion of reality and delusion.

I know he never caused it, but he did nothin' to stop it, and I'd rather just drop it,
but the anger is still riveting while I'm still revisiting her disdain for me.

Now mother, you are proud of me, well your not allowed to be,
You don't have the right to, because it was in spite of you,
that I survived just by keeping my own sanity alive.
You both ignored the damage you were doing. Such a good job of fooling.
Made life a game to place the blame
on the one without control, the one who was told
to play happy family...
...even if it caused a death of me.

Jennifer, California, US.
Thank you so much Mr. McKillop